How do you avoid life?
In my case it was (amongst other things) alcohol.
Isnt it funny, how we endure pain and suffering, humiliation and violation of our deepest values just so we can afford some time off where we can not think, not live, for a moment.
I remember, when I was smoking cigarettes, it was like claiming a break that no-one could take from me. A rebellious act of independence.
I used alcohol in order to shut down thoughts and „claim back“ my brain by making it foggy. To stop the thought-carrousel.
Curiously, all this avoidance of life made me fear death even more. On the peak of it all I had anxiety and even some panic attacks.
Then this quote hit me hard:
„The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A (hu)man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.“ Mark Twain
It made so much sense.
Because I was wasting my life with things that (secretly) don’t matter to me, I felt more and more anxious and fearful of death.
Nowadays I still catch myself browsing through social media in a never ending life-avoidance-scheme. But through sobriety, more present moment mindful activities, I rarely experience anxiety and I do not have panic attacks anymore.
What made the difference for me?
- I am engaging with things that matter and avoid tempting opportunities if they are not aligned with my values (very tough one)
- I try to replace doom scrolling with listening to podcasts, audiobooks, mediation, or sports (doesn’t always work of course)
- I know that drugs are the worst contributor (for me) to an unhealthy lifestyle, so I started a sober life almost 3 years ago
- I installed morning and evening routines in order to live life more mindfully
What is YOUR poison? And whats your perspective on it?
Are you friends with your vice or frenemies?
